I Think They’re Hot!
By Bethany Heitman
I was sooo not one of those pre-teens who hung posters of hot guys on my wall. Seriously, there wasn’t a JTT or Luke Perry photo in sight. But a few weeks ago I walked by a store that had a life-sized cardboard cut out of Edward Cullen on display. For the first time in my life, I contemplated shoplifting. See, I honestly can’t come up with anything sexier than vampires. Think about it, they’re the ultimate bad boys. And what girl can resist a guy that’s a little naughty?
The sexiest thing about Edward (from Twilight) or Bill (from True Blood) is that they’re both mysterious, dark, and brooding. After all, they have to keep to themselves because they can’t let everyone know their secret — which means they don’t have frat boy friends constantly around. When they choose to let a special girl in on it, it’s totally intimate. Beyond that, they’ve had plenty of time to perfect their skills in the sack because they’ve been around decades (and sometimes even centuries) more than you. And any girl that’s been with a virgin, knows an experienced guy is sooo much better. Oh, and because they don’t age, they never get wrinkly (major plus!). Finally, there’s their obsession with neck nibbling. That’s such a sensitive spot and it feels awesome when a guy kisses you there.
So, to all those haters, go ahead and obsess over your normal dudes. I’ll keep my sights set on the perfect, non-aging, super strong, and unbelievably desirable vamps from Twilight and True Blood.
I Think They’re Not!
by Zoë Ruderman
I’m all for dating an older man. And I can understand the occasional love bite. I could even handle someone who only goes out at night. But I just don’t get what’s so sexy about wondering — every time you kiss a guy, stay over at his place, or go out together for extra rare burgers and fries — if today’s the day he finally gives in to temptation, pierces your neck, and — whoops — ends your life. And until that day, you have to deal with his brooding, moody, angsty personality.
Sure, the whole rough, dominating, take-me-right-now thing is hot. But if you’re like most chicks, at some point you’ll start wondering about the relationship, his dating past, and whether you have a future together. Considering the guy is technically old enough to be collecting Social Security (in the case of Edward from Twilight) or worse, can start stories with, “This one time, back in the 1800s…” (like Bill in True Blood), his list is pretty long…and uh, it might include your great-grandmother. And one day, your great-granddaughter. Bottom line: you’re not the first and you’re not the last. How unromantic is that?
Someday I’ll watch all seven of the Twilight movies they’re sure to make and read the Sookie Stackhouse books. And I’ll probably even enjoy them. But that’s because hopefully I’ll be doing it next to a sun-loving, double-digit aged, normal-tooth-shaped, angsty only occasionally, cooked-meat-only eating man, whose idea of getting rough is a doing it up against the wall.